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At R.N.C., Romney Hailed as Regular Guy by Woman with Horse in Olympics : The...
AUGUST 28, 2012 ROMNEY HAILED AS REGULAR GUY BY WOMAN WITH HORSE IN OLYMPICS POSTED BY ANDY BOROWITZ TAMPA (The Borowitz Report)—On the opening night of the 2012 Republican National Convention, the...
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In New Campaign Strategy, Romney to Have Mouth Wired Shut Until November :...
SEPTEMBER 17, 2012 IN NEW CAMPAIGN STRATEGY, ROMNEY TO HAVE MOUTH WIRED SHUT UNTIL NOVEMBER POSTED BY ANDY BOROWITZ NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—In what his campaign described today as a bold...
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Romney Sets New Personal Best for Faking Empathy : The New Yorker
ROMNEY SETS NEW PERSONAL BEST FOR FAKING EMPATHY POSTED BY ANDY BOROWITZ HEMPSTEAD, NY (The Borowitz Report)—Republican Presidential nominee Mitt Romney set a new personal record tonight by...
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The Republicans’ Closing Argument : The New Yorker
NOVEMBER 5, 2012 THE REPUBLICANS’ CLOSING ARGUMENT POSTED BY ANDY BOROWITZ WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—With only one day until the election, the Republican Party today released its official...
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Republicans Consider Welcoming People Who Believe in Math and Science : The...
NOVEMBER 8, 2012 REPUBLICANS CONSIDER WELCOMING PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE IN MATH AND SCIENCE POSTED BY ANDY BOROWITZ WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Opting for a bold “big tent” strategy to rebuild the...
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Nation Spends $2.5 Billion on Nothing : The New Yorker
NOVEMBER 7, 2012 NATION SPENDS $2.5 BILLION ON NOTHING POSTED BY ANDY BOROWITZ NEWS ANALYSIS (The Borowitz Report)—One day after the costliest Presidential election in U.S. history, Americans...
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Time Magazine Names Mitt Romney Man of the Year 1912 : The New Yorker
DECEMBER 19, 2012 TIME NAMES MITT ROMNEY MAN OF THE YEAR 1912 POSTED BY ANDY BOROWITZ NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—In an extraordinary gesture of recognition for a losing Presidential nominee,...
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Congress Collapses from Exhaustion After Doing Job : The New Yorker
DECEMBER 31, 2012 CONGRESS COLLAPSES FROM EXHAUSTION AFTER DOING JOB POSTED BY ANDY BOROWITZ WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The House of Representatives adjourned this evening after the...
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Borowitz Report : The New Yorker
January 8, 2013 A LETTER FROM A.I.G. Posted by Andy Borowitz NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – Today, American International Group (A.I.G.) issued the following letter to American taxpayers. Dear...
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Pentagon: Cuts Could Hamper Ability To Invade Countries For No Reason : The...
MARCH 3, 2013 PENTAGON: CUTS COULD HAMPER ABILITY TO INVADE COUNTRIES FOR NO REASON POSTED BY ANDY BOROWITZ WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The spending cuts mandated by the sequester may hamper...
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